Stone Cold

Someone did about $249 worth of damage to my car the other day...yeah, they stole it. I talked to my grandmother a few days later and she told me she had her cataracts removed. I was like, "Yeah Granny, they took my car too."

Wipeout Watch--Week 7

Alright, it is now WEEK 7 for "Wipeout Watch." If I haven't mentioned it before, I'm getting pretty desperate over here. I was told by my S-I-L that I need some sort of publicity stunt.

I thought about an extravagant funeral, but I figured some other more notable stars already beat me to it. I thought about getting a Nobel Prize, but I think Kanye would cut me off and say Obama's Nobel was better! So what's a guy to do?

How about if I send one of my kids up in a homemade balloon shaped like the Big Red Balls from Wipeout--surely that would garner some attention, right? So which kid should I send up so that we can shut down airports and needlessly preoccupy law enforcement?

Oh, no chuckles; what, too soon to joke about that??

Deal or No Deal

While at the library (just because I’m Dangerous doesn’t mean I’m illiterate) when I was approached by a man, as I browsed the DVD selection (some people like books on CD I like books on DVD). He came up and greeted me as if I knew him. Now this is an awkward time for me because I’m frequently approached by people, while out and about, that I *should* know and I don’t. This is due mainly to my work and other community activities.

I was only after he launches into his sob story that this feeling of discomfort begins to pass and makes way for one of skepticism. He tells me this story of how his he and his fiancée are at the courthouse about to get married. Actually, he surprised her and brought her there after work (which on this day was about 2ish) because it was something they’d talked about for years but never done. This was his time to show that he was a hopeless romantic. Picked her up, took her on a picnic, then to the courthouse to exchange their nuptials. Well, there was one minor detail this modern-day Cyrano overlooked; this person called a witness.

Seems they can’t be married unless they have a witness sign the license saying “you know us and we’re good people” (his words not mine). His mission was to go out and find this witness. At the same time his fiancée was participating in the same scavenger hunt. I let him tell his touching, poignant story and politely declined. He left.

After this interaction I could not help but wonder if I had somehow pooh-poohed all over this poor man’s romantic, storybook wedding. I could have been a permanent fixture for anniversary stories that he and his wife would share with others. “Without Ron we could have never gotten married.” I would have been invited over for their first anniversary, I could have worked my way to being God-father to their nearly grown kids—my goodness what have I done?!

I eventually, if not quickly go over those feelings. I then began to look for the cameras. I now believe this was some sort of game show. “If you can get 2 strangers to act as witness to your fake wedding I will give you not 1, not 2, not even 3 but 5 crisp one-hundred dollar bills!!” Alas, I saw no cameras.

So tell me, same situation, what would you have done?

Ron Dangerous @ RonDangerous.blogspot.com

Wipeout Watch--Week 5

Ok, so it's been about 5 weeks since I applied to be on Wipeout. Nothing. Nada. Nunca. Not a sniff, not a whiff, not even a "Thank you, but you suck" email. I'm beginning to get worried!

What should I do? I must admit that being on Wipeout has been a dream of mine for my entire life--that is, of course, if you assume my life started a year and a half ago.

So I'm taking it to you, the people. What should I do? How can I get on Wipeout?

Post your comments with your suggestions.

I need help!!

RonDangerous.BlogSpot.com

The Booze Brothers

RonDangerous.BlogSpot.com

A day or two ago I was watching one of my favorite shows on TV—“Pardon The Interruption.” Before you click that back button or move on to the next webpage, this is not a post discussing the finer points of PTI, the apparent love between the two stars or the all too frequent appearances of the of guest hosts…that will be later.

They were discussing the baseball playoffs. One of the teams the LA Angels has actually clinched a spot in this year’s playoffs. Many felt they would have a difficult time doing so. However, just like so many other sports stories the team prevailed to so many heartbreaks, disappointments and a long, difficult season.

Once again this is not a baseball story. One of the difficulties the team had to overcome was the death of one of their young teammates. Their young teammate, Nick Adenhart, was a promising pitcher from the Silver Springs, MD area. For anyone who follows baseball you know how extremely difficult it is to make it to the big leagues. There are SO many minor league stops that one can make that you could actually be a paid baseball player for 20 years or more and NEVER make it to the big leagues. With the talent that Nick had he was able to make it at the ripe old age of 22. At 24 years old his life was quickly and tragically snuffed out.

Just like any well scripted Hollywood screenplay the team dedicates their season to their fallen teammate. His memory is inextricably stitched to their uniforms for the season. His likeness is placed on an outfield wall. This team then goes on to earn a playoff spot. All is right with the world…

Cameras follow the team into the clubhouse to capture their celebration on film (or at least the equivalent of film—high capacity Hard Disc Drive). The guys are wildly celebrating like young boys pouring beer and champagne on each other. They then grab the jersey of their slain teammate doing the same; dousing it with beer and champagne. More beer and champagne is taken to his picture on the outfield wall and it is sprayed with beer and champagne.

This is the Hollywood ending any producer would be proud of. For me, there is but one problem…young Nick Adenhart was killed by an alleged drunk driver. How ironic is it that the very elixir that took the life of Nick is the name thing that is being used to celebrate a successful season AND to honor the memory of a deceased teammate?

I don’t drink and I don’t knock anyone who does—it is your body who am I to tell you what to do and how to maintain it? I do have a problem with people that drink and drive because now your decisions DIRECTLY affect any other drivers that are on the road with you. Death at the hands of a drunk driver is SO completely avoidable if the person drinking was even the slightest bit concerned about the welfare of others. Drink at home. Get a designated driver. Sleep it off before climbing behind the wheel. Call a cab.

Unfortunately, many cases that involve a drunk driver end in the death of the person NOT drinking. Someone maybe on their way home from work; a child riding their bike near their home; a pedestrian crossing the street; numerous episodes where a person’s life was ended because of the negligence of someone who decided it was better to drink and drive than to have someone drive them home.